Misogyny

Heavy post that’s been coming on for a while now.

Misogyny is the hatred or dislike of women or girls. Misogyny can be manifested in numerous ways, including sexual discrimination, denigration of women, violence against women, and sexual objectification of women. Misogyny has been characterized as a prominent feature of the mythologies of the ancient world as well as various religions. In addition, many influential Western philosophers have been described as misogynistic. The male counterpart of misogyny is misandry, the hatred or dislike of men. (source: wikipedia)

Before writing this I was pondering how I would go about it. Should I go out of my way to be completely factual, objective, non-emotional, and thereby play by the rules the misogynists have established? Or can I be who I am?
I decided to go with being me. Especially seeing as this is my blog and all, and if a misogynist doesn’t like that, well, they wouldn’t have liked me anyway, no matter what I did, because I’m a woman.

I recently had an eye-opening experience. It happened on the Robert Lindsay blog. I really like Robert Lindsay. I agree with 85.7% of what he says, (even though I would sometimes use other words to say it) and I couldn’t agree more with letting EVERYONE have their say, no matter how twisted their personal opinion may seem to me. It may be extremely uncomfortable to read, but a little discomfort is not going to kill you. And I would also like to point out that Robert Lindsay in no way is responsible for the various opinions of his readers. Duh.
On a post about womanizers a person calling himself “Indian Born beggars” posted the following comment (spelling errors are his and I didn’t feel obligated to correct them):

“why dont you write something on human parasitism rather writing on useless women who were pumped and dumped by 20 other idiots before she becomes born again virgin with hymen plastic surgery to become a whore mother of your idiot children and to destroy your life further by taking alimony and child support

I like womanizers and all those people who abuse women in general -For me women are sexual objects and most women even feel the same about other women.

They are sperm depositors and sexual objects nothing much more.

Western societies gave them too much power , and your race will become extinct because these sluts dont understand responsibility

Why dont you write about Female hypergamy.

If female is hypergamous , many men endured it, why cant women go through same

Women sell their age and Fertility men show their wallets -thats a business transaction and if you put more emotion into this shit you will be burned

Life is very hard and useless women will make your life very miserable.
I suggest you robert to write about Human parasitism and how degenerate indians evolved on earth and how we must euthanize all these parasites”

Wow!
Yikes!
OK. So… I don’t know if I’ve been in denial or what. I guess so. I just never wanted to really believe that there actually are men out there that honestly view women this way.
I mean, yes, there have been indications. I SHOULD have known, but, unlike these people, I don’t hate an entire gender because I’ve met some bad representatives of it. I have met assholes. Recently even, but I honestly didn’t want to believe that this truly was their view of me. But I guess I need to learn that true misogyny is alive and well out there and that it really doesn’t matter who you are, if you were born female- you’re fucked.

I have always treated every new person in my life as a new person in my life that I need to get to know before I can say anything about them. Even men.
I have never allowed myself to lump them together as “a bunch of assholes” and spewed venom over that entire gender, and trust me, I’ve had experiences that would make that a very understandable course of action. But I just won’t. It’s a conscious decision I’ve made.
I know there are men out there without a shred of misogyny. I met one once. He lives in Arizona.

But where does one even draw the line when it comes to misogyny? I have talked to older members of my immediate family, people you wouldn’t normally call misogynists, and after applying a little pressure they have admitted that yes, they do think of women as a lesser type of being. The Bible says so, among other things…
Well thanks. So Eve fucked up once and that reflects badly on me HOW exactly? No one seems to be able to explain that to me in a satisfactory way.

I will fight for the right to be me and be judged SOLELY on who I am and what I do until I die! I demand to be treated the same way I treat others!

Like I said, I COULD decide to hate men in general after what some of them have done to me, but I won’t!
I have been attacked by assholes thinking they had some kind of right to my body. And I mean assholes, plural. And I mean attacked.
I have been touched inappropriately at age 10 and seen the strange reaction in people I told. I learned that I wasn’t important enough to do cause any sort of scene because of this man. I was just supposed to shut my face and go on.
I have had the weirdest men stalking me. And I’m not talking about the attackers here. These are just men that get off on my “don’t get near me or I’ll sting you with my hedgehog thorns”- attitude, thinking, “oh wow, strong woman, she can take care of me. I’m sure she’d like to see my penis now”…

I’m 40. I’m not actively looking for a man because he’d have to be really freaking special to deal with me, and men that special don’t exactly grow on trees…
I am of course forever changed because of things that have happened to me, I am strong and I like my own company. I would prefer my own company a million times over to some of the things I’m offered…
I do get to know new people every now and then, but I tend to not go looking for them. If they come into my life I will make the honest effort to get to know them. If it’s not obvious that they are assholes I will be a very good friend to them and I don’t cut them out of my life before they have proved themselves to be said assholes. But when I’m done, I’m done.

Here on my blog I can be self-disclosed to a degree. Some are shocked that I would do this because in real life I’m way more secretive. But what I’m secretive about are my feelings, my thoughts about certain matters, not acts that have been done to me by others. Admitting to having been in some ways abused by others, in my opinion, doesn’t reflect on the person it was done to.
I do NOT think of myself as a victim in any way. I kicked their asses. It just pisses me off that it should be necessary for me and others to be so vigilant, to read every tiny little facial expression, read body language, be so damn attentive at all times. It takes energy. It’s like trolling, trying to distract you from more important things.
And all the time you also need to pretend that you are super comfortable and not suspicious and alert at all because chances are that this is a decent guy and if he is you don’t want to hurt him…

I’m not a gold-digger. Money has never really interested me the way it seems to do others. Sure, not starving would be nice, but that’s as far as my desire for money goes. Yet, I’m a woman, so in they eyes of many men I’m a natural born gold-digger.
” Women sell their age and fertility”, the disgusting black soul said. I never did that either. I’ve never thought of myself as particularly attractive and how others see me interests me very little. What I usually get are men that are finding me “interesting”. These men can fall into two categories, either I find them interesting too and we get along splendidly or they are of the “take care of me oh strong woman”-type, in which case I tend to coldly remove them from my life.

I have become overly protective of myself and my worth. I admit it. I can be a bit quick to bite if I notice any sort of indication that someone is trying to push me down, belittle me. I know me. I find myself to be a good person that is needed in this world.
I may be overly sensitive about these things but that is a direct result of what I have been through.

I recently had dealings with a man that had no less than 3 broken marriages behind him. I know a lot of women wouldn’t even go there but I did. Assumption is the mother of all fuck-ups and I didn’t want to jump to any conclusions. Theoretically he COULD have learned something from his three previous marriages and now be a mature, enlightened guy. I was willing to give him the benefit of the doubt. In this case it really didn’t pan out…
He did turn out to be a sadistic misogynist and this is of course the reason I started to think about making a post like this in the first place. Reading that comment on the Robert Lindsay blog is what forced me to see him as he really was. Nothing else made any sense to me and no matter how deeply disturbing reading that was, it also helped me to open my eyes to a truth I hadn’t wanted to acknowledge.

How small is your mind though when you are completely unable to deal with nuances and refuse to see matters as anything more than black or white? I mean really! The intellectual capacity of such an individual must be so incredibly limited! Or are they just speaking out of anger?

Once upon a time men protected women and honored them. Now women need to protect themselves from men.
Why?
Why these gender wars? I didn’t want to touch that subject really with a 10 foot pole but I just wish there could be a sensible and balanced discussion about these things.

Are healthy relationships between men and women possible? Where both parties feel respected and valued?
Is there a way to eradicate gender hatred? On both sides?
I am not your average feminist type. I would fight for women’s rights of course, but if a man was being treated unfairly I would fight just as hard for him.
The fact that we have two main genders hasn’t escaped anyone I would expect. So why deliberately widen the gap between the genders when we do have way more similarities than differences? It’s the same with race. Why are we focusing so disproportionately much more on the differences than the similarities?
What is that ultimate force that is tearing us apart, and what is its agenda?

I don’t know. I’m going to keep being me. I’m not perfect but as far as people go I’m a pretty decent one.
Misogyny is a wrong in society.
See, I’m pointing to it.
Help me fix it please.