I was going to write a post yesterday, but sadly something came up.
It was going to be a wonderful post, about flowers and candy and butterflies and caramel sauce. I would have been giving away a brand new car to anyone who read it, as well as a lovely house in Hawaii and 5 000 000 USD.
Now this turned out to be impossible due to the fact that I was severely lacking a functioning keyboard.
Oh, I don’t know… Maybe it had something to do with this beast in feline shape that, in spite of countless warnings and unmistakable evil looks from yours truly, decided it was quite all right for him to jump up on the table and start pulling at the mock orange flowers in a vase next to the keyboard…
Need I say more?
Therefore, yesterday had me taking the keyboard apart, and I mean EVERY single part of the keyboard. Every key and every little rubber thingy under each key.
I cleaned and dried everything meticulously and left it to dry even more overnight.
This morning I took on the painstaking task of reassembling the keyboard, meanwhile clinging to a wild hope that not only would it work now, but it would work better than it had before, considering how immaculately clean it now was.
It didn’t work.
After picking myself up off the floor where I had ended up sobbing inconsolably, I decided I needed to go out and buy a new keyboard.
This might have been your action immediately following the demonic attack, but, you see, apart from the USD 5 000 000 I had planned on giving away yesterday, I’m pretty much constantly broke. Therefore everything simply MUST have been tried before any venture to purchase can take place.
I arrive at my favorite electronics store. It’s a small, and by small I mean tiny, store, but part of a quite large electronics franchise, which, one would think, would warrant them to at the very least the most basic of computer gear. Already there were 4 customers inside the store which means it was more or less full. Undeterred I squeezed myself past the, mostly, chubby customers with dead eyes, and maneuvered myself all the way up and down the two ”aisles”, two shelves and one row of boxes. Unable to find what I was looking for I had to resort to asking one of the staff, which is always a drag. The only staff I found was handling the check out counter, but I found the store owner standing around looking generally useless. I inquired after the keyboards and he responds in a less than service minded manner that if I can’t find one they are probably out.
I figured asking him to order more would be way more trouble than it was worth, plus I really wanted my keyboard today, so I decided to try another electronics store.
Swooping into this other store, that is big enough to be able to handle at least 12, maybe even 15 customers, I immediately target a meek looking staff member and inquire about the keyboards. He directs me to them and calls me Miss in the process, which bewilders me completely. This is Sweden. Nobody calls people by titles any more! I mean never ever ever. This was the first time in my 39-year-old life!
I had to suspect that there was something wrong with him, like he was a serial killer or had sex with marsupials or something. I mean, what a freaky thing to say!
Anyway, the only available keyboards were cordless ones for 349 SEK, which roughly translates to 5 000 000 USD….
Intensely hoping to get off cheaper than that, I claim I was looking for one with a cord and ask him if he knows of any other electronics store. He refers me to one on the outskirts of town and I am on my way.
I walk through town and after about 20-25 minutes I near the area.
This is when I see a sign on a building a ways away. It’s a large electronics store and I feel that I might have more luck there than at the medium-sized store I was referred to.
Arriving at the large store I can only conclude that all that is left of it are the signs. The space is for rent and the store has apparently long since shut down.
There’s nothing to do than to turn back and try to find the store I was recommended.
At this time my feet, in relatively new shoes, are less than happy and I’m starting to cross roads in a precarious way to find a shortcut to the store.
Finally I arrive! Unfortunately just in time to see the store owner leave in his car because the store closed 3 minutes earlier….
I don’t get mad. I don’t even curse. I just start walking again, this time back to the store with the cordless keyboard.
And I walk.
And I walk.
And I walk.
Eventually I return to the store, buy my overpriced keyboard and return to the comfort of my home.
The troubles don’t end there, oh no. There’s the unbelievably idiotic box the keyboard came in that just wouldn’t open no matter how much violence I applied to it. There’s the computer that wouldn’t start with the little USB thingy that came with the keyboard plugged in. There’s… Ugh, the list is endless it seems, but the point is that I now have a keyboard again!
So, sorry about you missing out on the car, the house and the money…
Blame it on the demon. Blame him good!